A how-to guide for getting rich quick.
First, let's be clear: free-market means that taxpayer money is free, while money that you actually earn by doing work isn't - and why should you do work if you're a true-blue white American! Working is what negroes should be doing! It's beneath you! Now, on to the guide.
Start a company of your own. The tax code in this country is designed for corporations to never pay taxes. Paying taxes doesn't apply to Republicans! Only assholes and socialist liberal communist gay faggot jews pay taxes! Get a clue.
Be sure to completely cook the books. Ideally, you should hire some gay faggot jews to come up with the best way to come up with insanely complex ways of printing money, creating "value" out of thin air, and other forms of stealing that those dirty jews are so good at. Don't shake their hands though, you might get AIDS.
Spend spend spend! Be sure to acquire every repuslive, tacky, disgusting thing you've ever possibly imagined, from a harem of slave children to a golden toilet that is mounted on your front yard for all to say as you do your business. Let your neighbors watch as you wipe your ass with $100 bills.
Be sure to hire the "best and brightest" to manage your team of jews. Pay them earth-shattering millions, regardless of their performance. Nothing but the holy Lord Jesus himself should get between this money - that you had to find a way to make out of nothing! - and you and your people. Even if Jesus does come down off the cross to remind you that the meek shall inherit the earth, think twice about giving up that money.
Make sure that you relentlessly give away fake vapor money ("credit") to the poor huddled masses to prevent them from noticing that their real wages have actually gone down in the last 25 years since deregulation, since what we did was reregulate the flow of money from us to them! The world is better off when Republicans have money, because we know what to do with it, like spend 2 trillion on a useless war on credit and fly private corporate jets! Oh and who can forget those golden toilets. Actually lately I've been hiring slave children from India to wipe my ass with their hands, after which I throw them out the window.
When it all goes to shit DON'T PANIC! Those same idiot tax payers who you've been stealing money from for years are going to BAIL YOU OUT so you can keep getting the finest Peruvian fishscale, keep your harem flooded with fresh slaves from Russia, shoot machine guns out your back door, and generally act like the living incarnation of Satan that you are. And remember, all the gay commie jews who got you there will go to jail, after which they'll burn in hell! With AIDS! Now THAT'S a FREE MARKET! GOD BLESS THE USA!
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